dad

when i was younger, my mum was very strict

because she wanted us to be discipline.

but as the eldest of all siblings,

my dad gave most love to me.

because i was the first,

and that he really loves children.

so he gave me everything i wanted.

he would always buy candies etc for me.

but because of this, he was bias towards me.

i got most attention from him as compared to my other siblings.

as what i heard,

he never used the cane on me,

he would  always carry me around,

he loved and pampered me like a princess.

but as i grow,

our relationship distant.

i could see the change gradually,

when i was younger,

there will be, ''goodnight baba, bye bye baba etc''

but now, no more.

one reason may be due to his bad habit.

i wont say it here because it isnt anything that i should be proud of.

i never asked for branded stuffs.

but because i was  pampered by him,

i would throw tantrums if i didnt get what i wanted.

i cant get rid of this habit.

even till now, 

my behaviour at home and outside are totally different.

when i dont wanna do this, means i dont.

so when i  get scolded, i dont even care.

but after that, i feel guilty.

my temper and personality is almost the same as my dad.

he always tells me this last time,

''dont follow my paths, i love to play so i didnt study hard,

study hard and do well''

and the thing is, he only tell this to me.

nowadays while enjoying my holidays,

i've been watching a lot of dramas online,

because i didnt want to spend so much money.

and when he came home from work,

he would always check on me and asked me to sleep earlier,

without fail everyday.

but it reduced as days past by.

i can feel that our relationship is growing apart,

because upon reflecting,

i feel that i've been colder to him.

and i feel really guilty about that.

everytime when i ask him for money to go out,

he would always give me,

i asked him for this and that,

and he would try his best to give me.

although at times what he say really bothers me.

as i said, our tempers are almost alike,

so its like,

stubborn vs stubborn.

nobody wins nobody loses.

but whenever he scolds me,

he would always comfort me after that or the next day.

but now,

i see him only at night, after he comes home from work.

and we never talk much anymore.

and because we have almost the same personality,

we had a lot to talk about.

my mum would always tell me dont be like him.

our stubborness can get anywhere.

we like to enjoy, and that as a result,

cost him his education.

if it wasnt for my mum, 

i guess i wouldnt be where i am now.

people always say:

''every daughter's first love is their dad''

i'm really thankful for this dad.

although at times i'm really angry because of his bad habit.

my mum always say:

''if he didnt have this habit, he will be a very good father''

when i get scolded by my mum or when we quarrell,

my dad would  always side me,

but gradually reduced.

seeing him hold two jobs is really tough.

thats why i try my best in everything i do.

not necessarily to be in the first place,

but to do my best to hit my target.

mum says he has very high expectations of me

and my bro.

my bro is the only male,

so its quite understandable.

but for me, he always expected the best

because i had to set an example

and i was his pride.

my mum told me something that happened when i was young

but i think i was too young to remember it.

i made my dad angry and he flipped a glass table,

it broke.

but he had never hit me.

my dad never hit me once,

never.

he would only yell at me.

and i remembered when there was only me and my sister,

i would always stay up and watch some chinese vampire shows on tv

while waiting for him.

and he would always buy supper when i asked him to.

he let us drink sweet drinks when mum is not around.

he let us buy potato chips when we were not allowed to eat.

i celebrated my birthday almost every year

and i went to the zoo almost every week.

he was never a good cook,

except that he can cook maggie.

my dad was actually expecting me to go jc.

which was never one of my choice.

i need freedom and i really hate to be tied down by all the homeworks.

when i got my o level results,

he said 3As is good enough.

and that he was very happy,

he asked me to make my own choice.

and that was one thing that shocked me because my uncle

has always been pressurising him to make me go jc.

when i got my psle result,

he said i did my best.

when i got scolded for getting back home late after going out,

he told me if i want to stay later next time, call him,

he would tell my mum and pick me up if he's going off work.

when i was working,

and needed to do a lot of stuffs for the next day,

and stayed till quite late,

he called and asked if i needed him to pick me up.

my father always gave me the best.

i really hope our relationship wont get colder.

and i really hope he get rid of that habit because i have no rights

to say him now.

all guys out there,

you're gonna be a dad someday,

unless you're gay,

just kidding.

treat your girl like a princess but dont pamper her.

because eventually one day,

she's gonna be someone else's wife