control

been quite angsty recently and i find myself getting angry

easily over small matters easily.

really regretted having vent my anger on my family members.

guilty too.

but i cant seem to control my temper and i dont know why.

maybe i should really try to calm down each time

and think about it.

i know being angry often is not good for health and whats more,

for my heart.

and the, i remembered this:

i have to learn to control my temper.

i really think getting angry over small stuffs isnt worth it.

But, i havent had the chance to laugh heartily as last time.

Maybe its because i havent been spending enough time out?

because i was always with my friends last year and we had so much to share.

so, times like now, i would watch running man to keep myself laughing.

i need to be happier.

another thing i'm worried about, my health.

my body clock is seriously screwed and i cant seem to control myself.

i always told myself i must sleep early tonight

but i end up sleeping at 3 4 am.

and having supper at this kind of timing, 

makes me even more worried about my health in the future.

yeah, high metabolism but i dont know whats my inner body system like.

i'm so scared one day my body would crash.

plus, i havent been exercising,

because i just couldnt get my butt off.

i need to take control of my diet and of course exercise regularly.

basketball, jogging, etc. 

i just need to move my body,

i feel so weak inside, physically.

havent been meeting up with my friends lately because they're all busy

and i've a little issue with them.

kinda pissed though.

and my erica is out of town enjoying herself in hongkong,

indulging herself with fun and food and shopping.

some updates recently,

went to the band concert on 15th march and it was awesome.

although i dont know how to differentiate how good the music is,

but to my ears, they are.

that reminds me, speech day and musical on 4th april.

sigh.

well, not getting any awards though.

kinda expected but still i couldnt hide my disappointment.

havent told anyone about my disappointment, but yeah...

oh well, i got over it in a day.

which i find it a good thing about myself,

whenever i'm angry, sad, disappointed, i get over it just in a day,

and of course that depends on how serious the situation is.

been doing some china history reading lately and not finished yet.

have to return the books on 30th which i dont think i can.

well, i have to continue reading and writing later on.

thinking whether i should go out by myself to get some peace.

my heart isnt exactly calm right now and i need it to be at peace.

some pictures from the band concert:

went back to collect my cert last week and was quite happy to see that

my amaths results isnt included. hahhaha.

went to watch the hunger games few days ago and i must say,

IT WAS AWESOME.

i really dont mind watching the second time.

although i saw people tweeting saying that if people that read the book,

would find the movie a disappointment.

well, its was good to me, too good.

and something i must really say,

BIG BANG is back!

seriously the best group ever!

and their songs, are all FANTASTIC!

wooo!

GD's hair is not ugly!

(hoping my hair would grow faster!)

i know i'm not flawless,

and i was kinda 自卑 every morning when i look into the mirror

and see so many flaws on my face, i would always think,

''why am i born like that? is there anything i can do? i really hope it gets better soon''

because in this society, people judge,

especially people who judge you by looks.

i dont like to use make-up to make yourself look extra pretty.

because some guys would go for your looks.

sigh......

sometimes i wished i could make the decision to go make everything alright,

wished i had the money for some kind of treatment.

because i think that eating less oily food really doesnt help much.

i never said i was pretty/beautiful etc,

i just know that i'm awesome inside out. 

awesome doesnt mean that you are pretty.

oh and i recently found out something funny.

somebody deleted me as a friend on facebook,

then when one day i decide to go to the profile again, 

it shows ''error page''

i dont really take it to heart or mind or soul because 

it really doesnt bother me much.

its just the reason (i guessed) behind it makes the whole thing so funny.

plus, dont think that you're so pretty,

because its no use when it comes to your heart.

sometimes i feel that i shouldnt care too much,

because when i care, i'm bringing more problems to myself.

but when i dont care, people start to question.

 saw this:

maybe one day i really should be like that.

so that i'll be much happier :)

the key to happiness is not to trouble yourself? hahah.

sometimes i wonder who are those being true to me?

treating you sincerely?

because among people i know, i could sense some that doesnt have good intentions,

whats more, some have motives,

some, you dont even know what they're thinking deep down in their heart,

they may not seem to be like that, but who knows 

deep inside them, there's a dark side?

as the chinese sayings goes :

“路遥知马力，日久见人心”

“画虎画皮难画骨，知人知面不知心”

i have friends that i know that i really think they're somehow, 

i dont know, maybe they're being nice to you on the outside,

but inside they're like cursing and swearing at you?

hahahah. 

but i really detest those people who think they're so great and

they tend to look down on you?

proud peacocks.

but still, there are those very good and true ones among us.